Autobiography

Here’s another random section of my autobiography in ‘edit’ format:

Chapter 7. Beginning of 1965 to Beginning of 1966

(1) I started to take a liking to football in this year, I was as thin as a rake and never walked anywhere, I always ran. I was Mrs Watson, my next door neighbour’s, errand boy. “Pop down the shop and get me this list Roy. There’s the money and threepence for you.” She’d tuck a threepenny bit into one fist and the shopping money wrapped in a written list in the other. That would get me a Mars Bar and leave me with a penny to keep.

(2) I remember in the long summer holidays, staring at the massive array of chimneys, pipes and buildings on the horizon across the road from my house and listening to the hiss, bang and clang noises coming from the town gas works. From the gas works, there would often be a bang-come-thud noise that didn’t sound right. I learned in this year that often they would have explosions inside the gas works. I am going to put it down to this year, but it could have been later, when I was told by my mother that Mr Parsons from four doors down had been killed in one of these explosions. An honest man trying to do an honest days work to feed his family – I’ll bet they had no compensation other than “We’re very sorry to inform you Mrs Parsons…”

(3) I’d sit in the dusty dirt of our back garden with all sorts of bits of tubing, tin cans, bottles and anything else I could get my hands on and try to replicate the gas works in model form. They were never great, but an early indication perhaps of an engineering career? From this point onward in my life, I liked to make things. Here is a poem I wrote about the gas works:

(4) The Gas Works

(Off Alexandra Road, Tipton)

A horizon of metal, dull silver of glean

Guarded to the sky by fences of green

The hiss of a serpent and thud of a forge

Belched out a message the giant’s engorge

Spiral tubes climbed and twisted in every way

Up and across and down again, then into a bay

A clang and a bang often echoed into the air

The invisible killer that was constantly there

My first inspiration as I sat in our garden dust

With bits of scrap metal most eaten with rust

My engineered model strewn together as a mass

From a daily view at the works that made gas

(5) A man ran into a bar and ordered a double whisky. “Tell me,” he whispered to the barman, “how tall is a penguin?”

“Oh, about this tall.” Replied the barman, placing his hand about two feet from the floor.

“Are you sure.” Said the man.

“Positive.” Replied the barman.

“Shoot, I think I’ve run over a nun.”

(6) Tuesday, 6th June to Friday, 9th June 2023. I taught year 3 kids in a school called Hadley Learning Community – it was a nice school and enjoyable work.

(7) Wednesday, 7th June 2023. I received a letter from Lloyds stating that there was nothing they could do because I had voluntarily transferred the money to Calkill. Following much evidence provision that my money was paid into their bank, still Calkill denied receiving it. I need to go to the Citizens Advice Bureau. I Heard an advert on the radio whilst taking my son Will to work – CEL solicitors no win, no fee experts in scams and fraud. I contacted them via the internet.